Friday, April 6, 2012

Why cooking Thai food gives me the creeps

Two words: fish sauce.

You need this widely-used ingredient to make delicious soups like this:

Mmm, coconut soup. Or delicious noodle dishes like this:

Pad Kee Mao, biatches! Also known as drunken noodle. Factoid: they are called Drunken Noodles because they are so spicy that you need to drink a lot of water. Not because there's any booze in it. Rats.


Yes, Thai food is super delicious. But fish sauce is super gross. The briny,salty smell of it makes me gag a little bit. I believe it's actually made by fermenting fish bodies and then bottling them. This is what the dude at the Asian market told me, anyway.  Fish sauce is responsible for the elusive umami quality that is missing from most of American cuisine. Now, unfortunately, whenever I eat my home cooked thai-style noodles, I envision someone holding a plate of pad thai underneath a dripping bin of decaying shrimp.

Also, please look at the picture on the bottle:

The label is written in another language, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S A PICTURE OF A GOLDFISH.  I hope that's a stock photo. I hope that's a stock photo.

Oh, Thai food. You conflict me so.  Yet another example of where I'll happily eat something as long as I don't have to see what goes into it.  Ignorance is bliss, people.

I really wish I had bought a smaller bottle of goldfish juice, though.



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